If you want to succeed in real estate investing, communicating with your colleagues and partners is vital.
Not only is communication important, but how your colleagues perceive your message is crucial. The words you use, your tone, your attitude while communicating your ideas, you must think about all of that and the impact your message can have on people. You are transmitting your vision, and for your colleagues and partners to understand it, you must be able to get your message across.
Marshall B. Rosenberg, the founder of nonviolent communication, said, “underlying all human actions are needs people seek to meet, and understanding and acknowledging these needs can create a shared basis for connection, cooperation, and more globally, peace.”
He also reveals three communication methods that will trigger confrontations rather than collaborative dynamics between you and your colleagues: invalidation, denial of responsibility, and demands.
When we argue with someone, we feel the need for the other person to agree with us. Even if they won’t, we remain convinced that we are right and the easiest way to do so is to invalidate the other person’s opinion.
Judging one another’s arguments prevents us from questioning ourselves. In Dr. Andy Schmookler’s book “Out of Weakness,” the author explains that hostility arises from the fact that people find it easier to see what is wrong with others than to look at themselves.
Nikolaï Ray, CEO of the MREX, feels that people often create arguments through misperceptions. When two colleagues are arguing, one way to approach it is to validate what the other person’s perception is and then explain his perception of things to bring both viewpoints together.
By doing so, “we’d better understand what the other [person] is perceiving and make sure we are on the same page,” explains Ray.
Denial of responsibility
When we make poor decisions, it is easier to disclaim responsibility than to assume our mistakes. For example, if a situation goes wrong because of a decision we make, we try to blame others or convince ourselves it was the right decision to make in such a situation. In all cases, we try to find an excuse to avoid acknowledging that we could have done otherwise.
But if the person who adopts this type of attitude asserts his inactive status as a victim, this will create a climate where others should feel indebted to him. And since this person has acted on causes that “are beyond his control,” he will rely on others to correct the situation.
“Taking responsibility for your actions is key to becoming a better investor,” says Ray.
He explains that victimization and not taking responsibility — which is a lack of leadership — is also one of the best ways to be arrogant towards the market. Humility is something essential to possess as a real estate professional to succeed in the field.
“Having humility is key to a successful investor. One thing someone who is humble does is take responsibility for their mistakes, for their errors so that they can readjust and do better in the future,” he says.
What could be nicer than being told by your colleagues or boss that there is only one way to do a task and they are counting on you to do it their way?
Suppose you want to build a strong relationship with your colleagues or partners. In that case, you must put your ego aside and be more open to the fact that other people’s ideas may work best, depending on the situation.
Also, if you treat your partners as simple employees and don’t value their work, most chances are that you will find yourself CEO of a company in which you will be the only shareholder. The difference between a boss and a leader is that a leader does not force others to work for him. Instead, he gets involved, takes responsibility and inspires others.
This approach helps when conflicts and misunderstandings happen in the workplace. Dr. Rosenberg gives us the tools to understand what triggers us, take responsibility for our reactions, and deepen our connection with ourselves and others. That is crucial as multifamily real estate investment is a very relational field.
And as our CEO says, “the best way to act when you have done something wrong is to be as upfront as possible, transparent and remember that integrity is key.”